Atlas Winks

Carrier IQ: Your phone's secret recording device - Dec. 1, 2011

2011-12-01T18:24:00.000-08:00

Carrier IQ: Your phone's secret recording device - Dec. 1, 2011

YIPPEE

2010-10-27T11:58:00.001-07:00

My compers are virus free and 2 of them are back home from the repair shop!

Spun Glass and Swords

2010-06-06T09:12:00.000-07:00

"I live life like a juggler of spun glass and swords."
Inside Alabaster
Annie Miller

Quote of the Day

2010-05-13T09:44:00.000-07:00

"Somewhere,
something incredible
is waiting to be known."
Carl Sagan

My Most Recent Obsession

2010-05-09T09:00:00.000-07:00

I am obsessed with nail polish these days, in part because of the addictive pull created by Polish Bloggers such as the one linked to above and here: http://www.lacquerized.com/.

Warning: Don't look unless you can spend a small fortune on polish!

TRUE FOOD NOW

2010-03-10T19:17:00.000-08:00

http://truefoodnow.org/shoppers-guide/

http://www.addthis.com/bookmark.php?v=250&pub=hwhitehead

2010-03-10T19:13:00.000-08:00

http://www.addthis.com/bookmark.php?v=250&pub=hwhitehead

TAM&PE~1

2010-03-03T17:29:00.001-08:00

TAM&PE~1
Originally uploaded by AtlasWinks.

TAMMY NUTTALL AND PENROD MCCURRY, CHRISTMAS 1977

Lent

2010-02-17T08:52:00.000-08:00

I have never given up anything for Lent before, so I think I will start with a bang. I am going to try and give up MOST processed foods. There will be a few exceptions, like Mineral Water, Wine, Beer, and Alcohol in moderation, Organic Dark Chocolate, and processed foods that provide a health benefit to compensate for it not being in it's original state. I can have some condiments like Mayo and Mustard and Salsa, but if I can make it from scratch, that is what I will try and do. Canned and frozen meats and vegetables are also ok, though if I can get organic and fresh, that is preferred. ABSOLUTELY NO white flour, HFCS, white rice, white pasta. ABSOLUTELY no artificial ingredients or chemical names in the product! I also plan to limit my carbs a bit - not go Atkins crazy, but still try and find something besides a starch to round out my meals until Easter.

Wish me luck ... and send me hopeful wishes that the scale really shows the changes!

Sleep Education: Let’s Sleep: Preventing Obesity in Children

2010-02-11T08:15:00.000-08:00

Sleep Education: Let’s Sleep: Preventing Obesity in Children

Laugh at the Irony - #1

2010-02-09T10:55:00.000-08:00

I could choose to have this piss me off or choose to laugh it off:

Remembering I need to get gas for my car just as I pull in my driveway at home.

My New Favorite Thing

2010-02-09T08:08:00.000-08:00

This came in the mail yesterday from Crabtree and Evelyn.

Love it!

The scent reminds me of the first time I smelled Origin's Ginger Souffle, and the OH! factor was similar.

Will post more later on its "last-ability"

Trying again

2010-02-09T07:23:00.000-08:00

I have treated my blog here for the most part like an odd embarrassing relative - ignoring it most of the time and feeling awkward and uncomfortable the times that I do interact.

Today I intend to change that, lets hope this is not another paver stone to hell!

More Later...............

BOB&ME on Flickr - Photo Sharing!

2010-02-08T10:35:00.000-08:00

BOB&ME on Flickr - Photo Sharing!

I'm with Coco

2010-01-13T14:07:00.001-08:00

My focus Today

2009-11-09T08:20:00.000-08:00

Facebook Home: "'I am passionate about eating in a way that nourishes this lovely body of mine.'"

Upcoming Events

2009-11-06T08:22:00.000-08:00

Upcoming Events

Homesick at home.

2009-10-16T23:17:00.001-07:00

What do you do when you are feeling homesick, yet you are home?

I mean, I am in my house and I have my amazing, loving, entertaining, keep-me-constantly-on-my-toes grandkidlets sleeping close by. That is wonder-full!

... and yet they are sleeping, and I am not.

I guess that too much of my heart isin't home.

Barbara and Donn are in Wyoming, Amber and Kirt are in San Fran, Bob and Ryan and Matt and Elli are in Dallas at the TX-OU game, and last, but very much not least, Brad is in Boston.

I am feeling like the feeling you get when you hear the BoDeans sing, "Far Far Away From My Heart".

Sigh.

Hook 'Em TV Dinners

2009-10-14T18:07:00.000-07:00

In honor of TX-OU game this weekend.

TV Tray Folding Table Texas

Immensity of the Purpose

2009-10-04T04:41:00.000-07:00

I don't think life is absurd. I think we are all here for a huge purpose. I think we shrink from the immensity of the purpose we are here for.

Norman Mailer

In Search of Masahide's Moon

2009-05-16T14:44:00.000-07:00

Barn's burnt down --

now

I can see the moon.

~Masahide

KINDNESS

2009-05-14T12:39:00.000-07:00

KINDNESS
by Naomi Shihab Nye

Before you know what kindness really is
you must lose things,
feel the future dissolve in a moment
like salt in a weakened broth.
What you held in your hand,
what you counted and carefully saved,
all this must go so you know
how desolate the landscape can be
between the regions of kindness.
How you ride and ride
thinking the bus will never stop,
the passengers eating maize and chicken
will stare out the window forever.

Before you learn the tender gravity of kindness,
you must travel where the Indian in a white poncho
lies dead by the side of the road.
You must see how this could be you,
how he too was someone
who journeyed through the night with plans
and the simple breath that kept him alive.

Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside,
you must know sorrow as the other deepest thing.
You must wake up with sorrow.
You must speak to it till your voice
catches the thread of all sorrows
and you see the size of the cloth.

Then it is only kindness that makes any sense anymore,

only kindness that ties your shoes
and sends you out into the day to mail letters and
purchase bread,
only kindness that raises its head
from the crowd of the world to say
It is I you have been looking for,
and then goes with you everywhere
like a shadow or a friend.

Excerpted from Ten Poems to Open Your Heart by Roger Housden. "Kindness" from Words Under the Words: Selected Poems by Naomi Shihab Nye.

Little Altars Everywhere

2009-03-31T13:19:00.000-07:00

"We are swinging high flying way up, higher than in real life. And when I look down, I see all the ordinary stuff--our brick house, the porch the tool shed, the oil drum barbecue pit, the clothesline, the chinaberry tree. But they are all lit up from inside so their everyday selves have holy sparks in them, and if only people could see those sparks, theyd go and kneel in front of them and pray and just feel good. Somehow the whole world looks like little altars everywhere."

~ Rebecca Wells

Worry leads to atrophy.

2009-02-03T05:11:00.000-08:00

What real courage is ....

2009-01-24T06:54:00.000-08:00

“I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand. It’s when you know you’re licked before you begin but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what. You rarely win, but sometimes you do.”

- To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee

QUOTE OF THE DAY-- Mark Twain

2008-12-05T05:49:00.001-08:00

"Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it" - Mark Twain

How to do what is overwhelming to you.

2008-11-21T15:22:00.000-08:00

My new quote when it looks like the task at hand is next to impossible to achieve?

"The best way to eat an elephant -- is one mouthful at a time."

Saddleback Church

2008-08-31T18:54:00.000-07:00

Saddleback Church

check this out

a little fun with photos

2008-08-27T07:57:00.001-07:00

Check it out!

Adios, Sound Bites & Fat Cats - Obama is Changing Politics

2008-04-21T15:07:00.001-07:00

The ecosystem of political media has changed, with sound bites losing their authority. Consumers of news are less easily manipulated by the 24/7 barrage of bites and images (Hillary Clinton doing whisky shots, Obama bowling), which are dissected endlessly on cable. Voters search for their own context.

read more | digg story

QUOTE OF THE DAY-- Maharishi Mahesh Yogi

2008-02-11T16:32:00.000-08:00

"Don't fight darkness - bring the light, and darkness will disappear"
Maharishi Mahesh Yogi

Nerdfighter Happy Dance Song

2008-01-09T04:22:00.001-08:00

This is better than photo light therapy or prozac! I dare you to watch it and not feel a bit happier.

;^)

Quote for the day: Courage

2007-12-19T12:02:00.000-08:00

"Courage is not the absence of fear but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear." Ambrose Hollingworth Redmoon

Good? Oh Man!

2007-12-06T08:16:00.000-08:00

I just finished the Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett book, Good Omens. I have intended to read it for a very long time and finally decided to read it as a car book, (for those times I am waiting in a car to pick up a kid-let). The book was so entertaining and witty that I carried it back in the house with me the first day I started reading it and I have carried it anywhere I can sneak a few minutes to read. I have stronger Zygomatic major and Orbicularis oculi muscles from the constant smile that was on my face as I read Good Omens.

It is a satire of sorts of all those Omen movies-- you know, the Apocalypse in near, the End of Days is upon us. But it is also very cheeky in that lovely dry yet loopy British manner. Think Monty Python, Dr. Who, Red Dwarf. It also will be loved by anyone who enjoyed Hitchhikers Guide to the Universe.

Here are a few of my favorite quotes from the book (in no particular order):

"God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of His own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players,* to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a Dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time."
* i.e., everybody."

"Newton Pulsifer had never had a cause in his life. Nor had he, as far as he knew, ever believed in anything. It had been embarrassing, because he quite wanted to believe in something, since he recognized that belief was the lifebelt that got most people through the choppy waters of Life. He'd have liked to believe in a supreme God, although he'd have preferred a half-hour's chat with Him before committing himself, to clear up one or two points. "

'You do know you could find yourself charged with being a dominant species while under the influence of impulse-driven consumerism, don't you?'"

"She herself had short red hair and a face which was not so much freckled as one big freckle with occasional areas of skin."

"Most books on witchcraft will tell you that witches work naked. This is because most books on witchcraft are written by men."

""You see, evil always contains the seeds of its own destruction," said the angel. "It is ultimately negative, and therefore encompasses its downfall even at its moments of apparent triumph. No matter how grandiose, how well-planned, how apparently foolproof an evil plan, the inherent sinfulness will by definition rebound upon its instigators. No matter how apparently successful it may seem upon the way, at the end it will wreck itself. It will founder upon the rocks of iniquity and sink headfirst to vanish without trace into the seas of oblivion." "Crowley considered this. "Nah," he said, at last. "For my money, it was just average incompetence."

"Shadwell hated all southerners and, by inference, was standing at the North Pole."

"DON'T THINK OF IT AS DYING, said Death. JUST THINK OF IT AS LEAVING EARLY TO AVOID THE RUSH."

"You can't second-guess ineffability, I always say."

"In our Sunday paper it said there was thousands of witches in the country," said Brian. "Worshiping Nature and eating health food an' that. So I don't see why we shouldn't have one round here. They were floodin' the country with a Wave of Mindless Evil, it said." "What, by worshipin' Nature and eatin' health food?" said Wensleydale."

"It wasn't a dark and stormy night. It should have been, but there's the weather for you. For every mad scientist who's had a convenient thunderstorm just on the night his Great Work is complete and lying on the slab, there have been dozens who've sat around aimlessly under the peaceful stars while Igor clocks up the overtime."

"Most of the members of the covent were old-fashioned Satanists, like their parents and grandparents before them. They'd been brought up to it and weren't, when you got right down to it, particularly evil. Human beings mostly aren't. They just get carried away by new ideas, like dressing up in jackboots and shooting people, or dressing up in white sheets and lynching people, or dressing up in tie-dye jeans and playing guitars at people. Offer people a new creed with a costume and their hearts and minds will follow."

"It may help to understand human affairs to be clear that most of the great triumphs and tragedies of history are caused, not by people being fundamentally good or fundamentally bad, but by people being fundamentally people."

"There are some dogs which, when you meet them, remind you that, despite thousands of years of manmade evolution, every dog is still only two meals away from being a wolf."

"Crowley always found [Satanists] embarassing. You couldn't actually be rude to them, but you couldn't help feeling about them the same way that, say, a Vietnam veteran would feel about someone who wears combat gear to Neighborhood Watch meetings."

"There were people who called themselves Satanists who made Crowley squirm. It wasn't just the things they did, it was the way they blamed it all on Hell. They'd come up with some stomach-churning idea that no demon could have thought of in a thousand years, some dark and mindless unpleasantness that only a fully-functioning human brain could conceive, then shout "The Devil Made Me Do It""

"...the whole point was that the Devil hardly ever made anyone do anything. He didn't have to. ... Where you found the real McCoy, the real grace and the real heart-stopping evil, was right inside the human mind.

"On those occasions when the angel managed to get his mind into the twentieth century, it always gravitated to 1950."

"[Humans] were born into a world that was against them in a thousand little ways, and then devoted most of their energies to making it worse."

"There had been times, over the past millenium, when [Crowley the demon had] felt like sending a message back Below saying, Look, we may as well give up right now, we may as well shut down Dis and Pandemonium and everywhere and move up here, there's nothing we can do to them [humans] that they don't do themselves and they do things we've never even thought of, often involving electrodes."

"God does not play dice with the universe: He plays an ineffable game of His own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players [i.e. everybody], to being involved in an obscure and complex variant of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a Dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time."

"Kids! Bringing about Armageddon can be dangerous. Do not attempt it in your own home."

"It wasn’t a dark and stormy night. It should have been, but that’s the weather for you."

"It may help to understand human affairs to be clear that most of the great triumphs and tragedies of history are caused, not by people being fundamentally good or fundamentally bad, but by people being fundamentally people."

"Along with the standard computer warranty agreement which said that if the machine 1) didn't work, 2) didn't do what the expensive advertisement said, 3) electrocuted the immediate neighbourhood, 4) and in fact failed entirely to be inside the expensive box when you opened it, this was expressly, absolutely, implicitly and in no event the fault or responsibility of the manufacturer, that the purchaser should consider himself lucky to be allowed to give his money to the manufacturer, and that any attempt to treat what had just been paid for as the purchaser's own property would result in the attentions of serious men with menacing briefcases and very thin watches. Crowley had been extremely impressed with the warranties offered by the computer industry, and had in fact sent a bundle Below to the department that drew up the Immortal Soul agreements, with a yellow memo form attached just saying: 'Learn, guys.'"

"He was just killing time until the main event, but he was killing it in such exquisite ways. Time, and sometimes people."

"NOTE FOR YOUNG PEOPLE AND AMERICANS: One shilling = Five Pee. It helps to understand the antique finances of the Witchfinder Army if you know the original British monetary system: Two farthings = One Ha'penny. Two ha'pennies = One Penny. Three pennies = A Thrupenny Bit. Two Thrupences = A Sixpence. Two Sixpences = One Shilling, or Bob. Two Bob = A Florin. One Florin and one Sixpence = Half a Crown. Four Half Crowns = Ten Bob Note. Two Ten Bob Notes = One Pound (or 240 pennies). One Pound and One Shilling = One Guinea. The British resisted decimalized currency for a long time because they thought it was too complicated."

"The device is named after a real person?" he said. "Oh, yes. Fine old Lancashire name. From the French, I believe. You'll be telling me next you've never heard of Sir Humphrey Gadget--" "Oh, now come on--" "--who devised a gadget that made it possible to pump out flooded mineshafts. Or Pieter Gizmo? Or Cyrus T. Doodad, America's foremost black inventor? Thomas Edison said that the only other contemporary practical scientists he admired were Cyrus T. Doodad and Ella Reader Widget. And--"

"He'd have liked to believe in a supreme God, although he'd have preferred a half-hour's chat with Him before committing himself, to clear up one or two points."

"Getting in touch with Heaven for two-way communications was far more difficult for Aziraphale [the angel] than it is for humans, who don't expect an answer and in nearly all cases would be rather surprised to get one."

"It was then that Marvin got religion. Not the quiet, personal kind, that involves doing good deeds and living a better life; not even the kind that involves putting on a suit and ringing people's doorbells; but the kind that involves having your own TV network and getting people to send you money."

"On the orders of Head Office I will encourage the belief in Intelligent Design – despite the fact that the human airway crosses the digestive tract. Who thought that was intelligent?"

"Have a nice doomesday."

The Mom Overture

2007-12-03T11:58:00.001-08:00

I found this at YouTube and couldn't resist sharing. Great to watch when you have had a stressful day with the kids.

Dentopedology

2007-08-11T07:34:00.000-07:00

"Dentopedology is the science of opening your mouth and putting your foot in it. I've been practising it for years."
Attributed to Prince Philip

I don't know if this is truly a word, but it should be. I have suffered from the affliction of foot-in-mouth disease for most of my adulthood. I thought of it privately as my own cogno-linguinistic dysplasia but I think the Prince Philip word has a bit more panache. I also think that since a British Royal said it, that should make it an official part of the lexicon.

If it became an official word, then it could be a truly recognized affliction.

We could form a new branch of speech therapy - Dentopedologists or cogno-linguinists.

We could possibly even have some brilliant inventor create a braking appliance for our tongue.

I can see it now..............

;-)

Tales Of Mere Existence

2007-08-03T07:43:00.001-07:00

The title should be Universal Tales Of Mere Existence and I could have written "I Have To Get Ready" --- as well as several of his other tales.

Finally, the truth can be told.

2007-07-28T06:13:00.001-07:00

Hello, my name is Atlas Winks and I have a secret crush on Severus Snape.

I have felt sorry for him for some odd reason since the end of the first book and my feelings for him have grown over the course of each book. At the end of Book 6, I was aghast that he actually KILLED Dumbledore -- but my feelings for him were still there. Surely, I thought, he didn't really kill Albus! I won't spoil Book 7 for anyone, but regardless of what happend, I still have a secret crush on Severus. That poor, poor man. If I had been a character in the series, I could have made him happy, I just know it.

:|

On a brighter note - if you wish you could laugh with Snape? Check out this video: Snape is a Sex God.

For to wish for a hand on one's hair is all but to feel it.......

2007-07-23T16:58:00.000-07:00

For need can blossom into all the compensations it requires. To crave and to have are as like as a thing and its shadow. For when does a berry break upon the tongue as sweetly as when one longs to taste it, and when is the taste refracted into so many hues and savors of ripeness and earth, and when do our senses know any thing so utterly as when we lack it? And here again is a foreshadowing - the world will be made whole. For to wish for a hand on one's hair is all but to feel it. So whatever we may lose, very craving gives it back to us again. Though we dream and hardly know it, longing, like an angel, fosters us, smoothes our hair, and brings us wild strawberries [152-153].

Marilyn Robinson, from her Pulitzter nominated novel, Housekeeping.

To quote Jerry Springer, no less.

2007-06-15T06:49:00.000-07:00

"Part of finding happiness in life, is to love your Monday mornings, as much as you love your Friday afternoons."
~ Jerry Springer on career advice.

Atlas Winks: I would turn on the TV but it's so heartbreaking ....

2007-04-19T16:47:00.000-07:00

I would turn on the TV but it's so embarrassing ....

I made the linked post above on April 2nd without any comment so the lyrics could speak for themselves. The words are even more relevant today after the horrible violence at Virginia Tech. In an I-Tunes interview, Jack Johnson talks about his song Cookie Jar and about how he wrote it after Columbine and how everyone was pointing fingers and blaming all these different factors, when in fact, we are all guilty to some degree. It is a powerful song and I can't say it often enough that I think Jack Johnson is a Genius.

He takes such a soft and calming sound, adds suprisingly simple lyrics and somehow he says the things I have been thinking, but haven't found the words to really talk about. The incongruity of how he says what he says and its ultimate message make his music even more powerful and profound. A lot of his songs - like Traffic in the Sky, Fall Line, Cookie Jar, Times Like These and Gone - share similar ideas about how the materialistic underbelly of our society causes a spiritual disconnect, especially with our most vulnerable of citizens. Such a lovely melody and such simple words to indict us all - that we are all to blame, sneaking a cookie from the cookie jar and then insisting that "It wasn't me." We all share in the blame when we watch the sensational journalism instead of finding intelligent news media. We are all guilty when we let the not yet 17 year old see the R rated violent movie. We all are culpable when we buy the tabloid. We enable pandering to the lowest common denominator by not insisting on better or nothing at all. Yes they are small sins, like driving a gas guzzler or not turning off the lights, but when massive amounts of people let their apathy cause them to do small acts of evil, the ultimate consequences can be devastating.

"It was you it was me it was every man
We've all got the blood on our hands
We only receive what we demand
And if we want hell then hells what we'll have"

God Bless all the people that are grieving the losses from the Virginia Tech Massacre. And God Bless Jack Johnson.

Kurt is up in heaven now.

2007-04-15T09:59:00.000-07:00

I was sad to hear that Kurt Vonnegut passed away last week. He was 84 and led a long and full life. Here is a link to a good article. I still remember the first time I read Cat's Cradle and Slaughter House Five and Breakfast of Champions. I very much enjoyed his works that I read, even if he did love the "anti-hero" a bit too much.

In his honor, here are some of my favorite quotes of Kurt Vonnegut's that I have saved. Starting with the most appropriate one from his work A Man Without a Country: " I am, incidentally, Honorary President of the American Humanist Association, having succeeded the late, great science fiction writer Isaac Asimov in that totally functionless capacity. We had a memorial service for Isaac a few years back, and I spoke and said at one point, "Isaac is up in heaven now." It was the funniest thing I could have said to an audience of humanists. I rolled them in the aisles. It was several minutes before order could be restored. And if I should ever die, God forbid, I hope you will say, "Kurt is up in heaven now." That's my favorite joke." -- Kirt Vonnegut

Other personal favorite Kurt Vonnegut quotes:

Be careful what you pretend to be because you are what you pretend to be. (or a different version) We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be.

Here we are, trapped in the amber of the moment. There is no why.

True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.

I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all the kinds of things you can't see from the center.

We have to continually be jumping off cliffs and developing our wings on the way down.

Beer, of course, is actually a depressant. But poor people will never stop hoping otherwise.

I have this disease late at night sometimes, involving alcohol and the telephone.

History is merely a list of surprises. It can only prepare us to be surprised yet again.

The two real political parties in America are the Winners and the Losers. The people don't acknowledge this. They claim membership in two imaginary parties, the Republicans and the Democrats, instead.

The public health authorities never mention the main reason many Americans have for smoking heavily, which is that smoking is a fairly sure, fairly honorable form of suicide.

One of the few good things about modern times: If you die horribly on television, you will not have died in vain. You will have entertained us.

Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward.

If you can do a half-assed job of anything, you're a one-eyed man in a kingdom of the blind.

Who is more to be pitied, a writer bound and gagged by policemen or one living in perfect freedom who has nothing more to say?

Any reviewer who expresses rage and loathing for a novel is preposterous. He or she is like a person who has put on full armor and attacked a hot fudge sundae.

Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds himself no wiser than before.

We could have saved the Earth but we were too damned cheap.

I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you different.

If people think nature is their friend, then they sure don't need an enemy.

Maturity is a bitter disappointment for which no remedy exists, unless laughter could be said to remedy anything.

Still and all, why bother? Here's my answer. Many people need desperately to receive this message: I feel and think much as you do, care about many of the things you care about, although most people do not care about them. You are not alone.

What are your five most favorite books?

2007-04-15T07:20:00.000-07:00

I was talking to an online friend about favorite books and she can't decide on a list, it is just too hard to limit them for her. But I am still curious what folks would say, sort of like a Rorschach test. IF you are too shy to actually post your list, want to e-mail it to me?

I so understand the hesitation to try and rate your favorite books, so just jump in like I did. (Especially as I would be very interested to see what ones you mention off the top of your head.) I was actually thinking about this kind of list the other day and I thought that it should be a multiple option question. That folks should have the option to answer the question from a few different angles.

Feel free to answer it from any angle you want.

Some possible options:

a. What five would you take if you were going to be stranded somewhere (and they were all you could read for a very long time)?
b. What five were the most transformational in your life?
c. Which five do you think were the best writing?
c. Which five had the best characters?
d. Which five kept you on the edge of your seat?
e. Which ones did you feel almost homesick when you finished the last page?
f. Which ones made you feel the most as if you were in another world?
g. Which ones caused the strongest emotional reaction in you?
h. Which ones caused you to laugh out loud and tickled your funny bone the most?
i. Which ones made you hope it was the beginning of a series because you wanted to read more about its characters?

and for those still having problems ...
j. Who are your favorite five authors?

You now only have three minutes to decide.....

;-)

I would turn on the TV but it's so embarrassing ....

2007-04-02T11:55:00.000-07:00

"Cookie Jar"
by Jack Johnson

I would turn on the TV but it's so embarrassing
To see all the other people I don't know what they mean
And it was magic at first when they spoke without sound
But now this world is gonna hurt you better turn that thing down
Turn it around

"It wasn't me", says the boy with the gun
"Sure I pulled the trigger but it needed to be done
Cause life's been killing me ever since it begun
You cant blame me cause I'm too young"

"You can't blame me sure the killer was my son
But I didn't teach him to pull the trigger of the gun
It's the killing on this TV screen
You cant blame me its those images he seen"

Well "You can't blame me", says the media man
Well "I wasn't the one who came up with the plan
I just point my camera at what the people want to see
Man it's a two way mirror and you cant blame me"

"You can't blame me", says the singer of the song
Or the maker of the movie which he based his life on
"It's only entertainment and as anyone can see
The smoke machines and makeup and you cant fool me"

It was you it was me it was every man
We've all got the blood on our hands
We only receive what we demand
And if we want hell then hells what well have

And I would turn on the TV
But it's so embarrassing
To see all the other people
I don't even know what they mean
And it was magic at first
But let everyone down
And now this world is gonna hurt
You better turn it around
Turn it around

Favorite Books.......... Part One

2007-03-31T13:06:00.000-07:00

When asked the mind boggling question, "What are your favorite books and why?, the only way for a bibliophile like me to answer is quickly off the top of my head without thinking too hard.

I just did this on another forum and here was my rash answer:

Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand, because it changed the way I think about altruism, obligation, charity and personal sacrifice, etc.

To Kill a Mockingbird, because Harper Lee's southern voice resonates with me to this day. It also helped me to be more mindful of prejudice and superficial first impressions. I identified with Scout and I think secretly I adopted Atticus Finch as a surrogate father.

Nickel Mountain by John Gardner. A brilliantly simple and quiet book that lingers emotionally. I read it over a decade ago and when I think of it, it still evokes the same feelings of quiet melancholy, of yearning to be accepted and to not feel alone and the feeling of finally being able to gracefully accept our own limitations.

Ishamael by Daniel Quinn. I had never before thought of the Homo Sapien hubris at assuming because we are the top of the food chain we are entitled to whatever we take and also the that we act in many ways as if evolution stops here.

The Hot Zone by Richard Preston, the scariest book I have ever read. Even more so that is was non-fiction.

Contact by Carl Sagan, again it changed some of my perspectives.

I imagine later I will hit myself on the head with the ones I forgot to mention. I can hear myself now - "How could I forget that one!?!" I will be berating myself I am sure for days.

Hence the "Part One" addendum to the title.

;-)

Two cool websites

2007-03-28T09:47:00.000-07:00

If you are like me, you will waste quite a bit of time playing with this color-decorator-thingee.

Have you heard of LifeHack.org? If you want to get more organized at home - check out this article.

My Son, the World Traveler - A Few Images

2007-03-28T09:06:00.000-07:00

Brad and a few of this friends on the Great Wall:

Brad half way up to the top of the Great Wall:

Brad at the very top!

One of Brad's Favorites - click for large version and to see Brad more clearly:

Brad in the Forbidden City. Brad said that there were street vendors all over the place selling these, shouting, "Commie Hat!Good Price! Commie Hat!"

The Three Stooges

Quote of the day:

2007-03-28T07:20:00.000-07:00

"Inch by inch, life's a cinch. Yard by yard, life is hard."
Coach Bill Restler in Heart of the Game

Oprah Epiphany

2007-03-27T07:38:00.000-07:00

We usually don't have tv in the house. We watch DVD's, but don't subscribe to cable or have an antenna and for us it works. The kids are less sedentary and they play outside and read more because of the no TV standard. I think my husband misses it the most, especially during football season and so this year, he decided to get cable, just from October until the Superbowl in February.

Well, now it is March and he still hasn't called the cable company to cut the cord, pull the plug, and we have all become addicted again. I think we need an intervention. A television intervention.

On a positive note though, I have been able to have all sorts of mini-epiphanies. Between Oprah and Ellen and Rosie on the View and Martha and even Dr. Phil, I have been pushed and pulled in so many domestic and self-actualized and improve-yourself directions that I feel like a fully kneaded loaf of bread just proofing in the dough bowl.

Make that Fruitcake dough - a la Jimmy Buffett.

;-)

You know, the lyric "human beings are flawed individuals. the cosmic bakers took us out of the oven a little too early." I hope I get to cook long enough. I hope I don't end up half-baked.

Anyway, I digress again.

So, back in February, I thought this was so important that I typed it in here and saved it as a draft. I think I wanted to blog about it, but I forgot to blog about it. I still don't feel like taking it somewhere, but maybe just putting the beginning idea out here is good enough.

~~~

On Oprah just now was this idea that was one of those, well duh, but head nodding, oh yeah, need to remember this more often, kind of ideas. Sorry I don't remember any more who said it.

"You want them to never ache, but in reality you need to teach them what to do when they ache. Learning how to be self soothing in healthy ways is one of the most important things that mother's can teach their children."

To say that another way -

The nature of maternal love is to want your children to never ache. The nature of being a human being is that you are going to ache. So one of the most important jobs of a mother is to teach your children healthy ways to deal with life when it hurts.

~~~

Sometimes this is a tough one. Sometimes it is a lesson that grown ups need to re-learn as well.

Some light reading .......

2007-03-25T22:01:00.000-07:00

Yes, that is what my granddaughter and niece were reading for pleasure - don't all 6 year olds want to read a book on how to prep for the SAT and don't all gorgeous 16 year olds stay home on the weekends to prep for AP history?

;-)

My twelve year old daughter was upstairs practicing piano without being prompted. If she had been with them, reading for pleasure, it probably would have been a book on acing the MCAT.

Can you believe they are related to me?

:D

The struggle between Should Do and Want To

2007-03-24T09:02:00.000-07:00

I Want to leisurely drink my cup of coffee, surf the web to numb-butt nirvana, then get up and take a hot Lush bath and stay in the tub until I am one big white prune.

I Should wash my cup as well as the other dirty dishes, sweep the wood floor and use that hot water to do a few loads of laundry before I get the kids ready to go to the Rodeo.

Sigh ..... the struggle between Should Do and Want To is a battle I wage daily. How about you?

Politically Eclectic.

2007-03-15T09:08:00.000-07:00

I want to start a new term. I am serious. Really. And I do have good reasons I think.

I am not politically conservative, nor politically liberal and I am definately not politically moderate. I am politically ECLECTIC. My personal views go all over the place.

I believe that sexuality has nothing to do with ANY human rights and I think that as long as your love is the same species, you should be able to make legal and medical decisions for each other --- but I don't necessarily think the term "marriage" is a necessity for equality. Call it a civil union and let's all be civil about it.

I believe in the right to choose reproductive issues. I don't think you should suffer from either choice in any public way. I think if pro-lifers really want to help pregnancies in crisis, then do more to support unwed mothers-to-be. Use your voice and finances to help support the lives once they are out of the womb, not just when they are inside one.

I think I should have more control of where my tax money is going. I believe in a very conservative fiscal policy. I believe that government funding in many instances actually creates more problems than it helps. I think that welfare causes an emotional and psychological bankruptcy far more devestating than the fiscal need. I think we need to re-haul the system and spend more on job skills and childcare.

I believe the Kyoto accord did not go anywhere near far enough and I am still stunned we didn't sign it. I believe that global warming is THE most important crisis the globe faces right now. I think if there is a sin tax on cigarettes, there should damn well be sin-against-nature taxes on everything that is wasteful of natural resources or pollutes the earth.

I am irritated by smug conservatives and even more irritated by intellectually arrogant liberals. I know a lot of both and it amazes me how they feel about each other. I secretly think we need to dramatically change our Two (really - there are two different ones? Could have fooled me.)Party system.

I think most contemporary politicians are in it for power and not to serve. I am for severe election reform. I AM in favor of my tax dollars going toward election expenses. I think that every candidate that can get a specific number of petition signatures should get the same amount of cash to run an election and THAT is your campaign finance. I think that politicians should get a better salary and that they get incentive based raises. I think they should punch a philosophical time clock. I think they should be held to a higher standard than normal folk.

I think women are not really represented in politics, that some of the female politicians are more masculine acting than some of the their male counterparts. I think we should allow the voucher system, because public schools are failing and the teaching lobby is failing to encourage real teaching.

I think America has turned into an international embarrassment, especially in the areas of science and socio-philosophies and in matters of the spirit and heart. I am aghast at our focus on trivialities and our myopia about the environment and human rights and world politics and our focus on all the superficial noise we earphone into our top ten list of priorities.

I think most if not all news reporters should hang their heads in shame at what they put on television as news. Where is the national enquiry about most news being the quality of the National Enquirer? When did almost everything become an infomercial to sell something else? Do we not see the inherent materialism we allow ourselves to be subjected to at every turn? When did an ex-stripper's drugged out life and death become more newsworthy than hundreds, no, THOUSANDS of brave volunteers losing their lives in a cause that is so controversial it has divided a nation? Where is the real world outcry about relevant issues that might possibly have the positive side effect of drowning out all the vapid celebrity obsessed twittering?

Ok ... I started ranting and got off topic.

Here is my reason for wanting a new label. I don't want to be labeled a Conservative or Moderate or Liberal. I don't want some focus group or survey to tell my politicians how they need to "spin" themselves to get my vote.

I am politically ECLECTIC. My opinions are all over the place. You can't spin me Wall Street. (Who I think really drives the American engine these days.) I want to see a dozen parties instead of just two that are not really two. I want to see so many folks embrace eclecticity that no poll is going to tell politicians what to pretend to think. I want the majority of folks to stand up as NOT in a niche that can be categorized. If you want my vote, show me what you really stand for in general and that you really want to serve to make my country what it can be, let me vote for your character in general because hopefully THAT can't be as easily lobbied away.

I AM LOVIN' THE LIBRARY THING...

2007-03-10T13:00:00.000-08:00

Check it out:

LIBRARY THING

OR gaze to the right and check out the ten random books generated from my database or you can even search my home library --- IF YOU DARE!

;-)

Check back as I have only added a part of my library at home to the database. I got a lifetime membership for the whopping price of $25 and I bought their "Copy Cat" scanner for $20 and it actually does a GREAT job!

(I also must admit, I love seeing my "copy CAT" scanner sitting next to my optical MOUSE.)

Are you still in love with your husband?

2007-03-03T10:11:00.000-08:00

I was asked on a forum I frequent if I love my husband. I was asked to select an answer from several that ran the gamut from obsessively to hate him.

Here was my reply that I decided I wanted to keep so I am posting it here!

I selected "if I work at it".

I love him and am in love with him, and I think he would say the same thing, but it takes work and effort to stay connected to the level we want.

The best advice I ever got about a committed relationship is that someone told me that "Marriage is a verb, not a noun". That meant to me that you don't stop the courtship once the ring is on your finger. Marriage is WORK and if you take it for granted it could slip between your fingers before you even realize the relationship is gone.

There are days I want to wring my husband's neck, days I love him to the point of obsession, days I wish he would just give me some space, days I can't stop touching him, days where just a look makes me feel 16 again, days I love him more, days he loves me more than I love him. There are days when we are like horny teenagers and days when we are best friends and not much of a sexual spark (remember we have five kids and have been together 20 years.) There are days I need to lean on him and days I feel like a fierce momma lion protecting her cub.

At first it was a bit disconcerting to me because I thought that my feelings for him would be constant and grow in only one direction, but it has been more like a day at an amusement park. Some thrilling highs and some gut wrenching lows, lots of excitement, but also periods when I just want a nap.

:wink:

My next 2 Week resolution

2007-02-23T05:37:00.000-08:00

The Optimist Creed
By Christian D. Larsen

Be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.

Talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet.

Make all your friends feel there is something in them.

Look at the sunny side of everything.

Be as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.

Forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.

Give everyone a smile.

Spend so much time improving yourself that you have no time left to criticize others.

Be too big for worry and too noble for anger.

Jack Johnson is brilliant.

2007-02-11T10:10:00.000-08:00

I am a deep fan of Jack Johnson. I found him first in a quirky way. As most of you know, I love the song Plastic Jesus and so I was doing an iTunes search of the covers they have of it. At iTunes, there is a video of Jack singing a medley in concert that includes Plastic Jesus. If you don't mind the loss of $1.99, go download it.

It is wonderful and the man is also very easy on the eyes. I now have about 4 of his compilations and there is a real variety there. I love how his music has a light sound for the most part - but when you really read the lyrics, there is a much deeper meaning than you might think. Take this upbeat little tune:

"Fall Line"

And by the way
You know that hope will make you strange
Make you blink, make you blink
Make you sink
It will make you afraid of change
Enough to blame the box with the view of the world
And the walls that fill the frame
I turn it up
But then I turn it off
Because I can't stand
When they start to talk about
The hurting and killing
Whose shoes are we filling
The damage and ruin
And the things that we're doing
Gotta
We gotta stop
We gotta turn it all off
We gotta rewind
Start it up again
Because we fell across the fall line
Ain't there nothing sacred anymore
Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah
Somebody saw him jump
Yeah, but nobody saw him slip
I guess he lost a lot a hope
And then he lost a grip
And now he's lying in the freeway
In the middle of this mess
Guess we lost another one, just like the other one
Optimistic, hypocrite that didn't have the nerve to quit
The things that kept him wanted more
'Til he finally reached the core
He feel across the fall line
Ain't there nothing sacred anymore
Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah

Lets see if this Rhapsody link works: Fall Line by Jack Johnson

Too Funny Not To Share

2007-02-04T06:14:00.000-08:00

This website, that has overheard snippets of office conversation, has had me laughing for the last few minutes.

Here are a few examples:

2PM Dr. Seuss Successfully Split the Difference

Yuppie girl: I found a turtle over the weekend. I put it in my backyard.
Flakey girl: What did you call it?
Yuppie girl: Myrtle.
Flakey girl: Is it fertile?
Yuppie girl: Is it what?
Flakey girl: Is it fer-tile? I was rhyming...
Yuppie girl: No, it's a turtle.
Flakey girl: Myrtle, the fertile turtle.
Yuppie girl: You're like Phoebe of Friends.
Flakey girl: You're like Ross.

3PM Really? Baghdad?

Woman: Oh, I love that place!
Man: Wait, which place?
Woman: I don't know, whatever place you were just talking about.

Soy Vey too

2007-02-03T16:40:00.001-08:00

Check out these web pages for more information on the decimation of the rainforest.

http://growersandgrocers.net/2007/01/15/farms-vs-the-rainforest-in-brazil/

Last of the Amazon: http://www7.nationalgeographic.com/ngm/0701/feature1/

and these images:
http://www7.nationalgeographic.com/ngm/0701/feature1/gallery1.html

Soy Vey

2007-01-30T12:22:00.000-08:00

So, here I have been happily buying soy candles and eating my Edamame and thinking it was all better for me and for the environment --- and then I read that the dramatic increase in soybean demand is decimating the tropical Rain Forests in Brazil.

What is a green-girl to do?

Patrick Dempsey on Letterman

2007-01-25T06:50:00.001-08:00

Grey's Anatomy is my guilty pleasure.

I may not ever eat duck again....

2007-01-24T11:30:00.000-08:00

Check this out.

18+ IKEA add

2007-01-23T19:42:00.001-08:00

This was just too funny not to share. But it is only for the grown-ups.

(I will take it down in a day or two.)

I think this is still a brilliant solution

2007-01-22T23:55:00.000-08:00

This was in my draft folder, so it is a bit dusty, but I think it still has merit.

What to do about the Grey's Anatomy homophobic remark.

Achoo-vu

2007-01-22T22:19:00.000-08:00

I am having the head cold from hyperbaric hell deja-vu ... and the partial soundtrack in my head is the beginning of that old 80's song "Under Pressure" sung by Queen with David Bowie.

Mm ba ba de
Um bum ba de
Um bu bu bum da de
Pressure pushing down on me
Pressing down on you
no man ask for
Under pressure -

Those lyrics and these two 100+ temperature fever driven poem-lets I wrote during my last achoo-vu just keep playing on in my poor pressure cooker of a noggin.

#1 - Snotty Head
Is the plural of sinus, Sinai?
Is Mount Sinai just a big hill of snot?
Is that why I keep thinking "HELP me Jesus!"
with all this head pound pounding I've got?
Is that the nails in his hands boom thud thudding at my face?
Is that his crown of thorns causing this headache
in my upper inner space?
I wish this influenza
were of a nicer kind.........
and not severely causing
this stigmata of my mind.
~~~

~~~
#2 - Martyr Express
I'm so tired of achoo-chooing
all over the friggin' place.
No, that's not a damn steam whistle,
its this nasal horn on my face.
My train of thought is just this cold my blood is taking chase.
I fear the Illness Limited
is still laboring
in second place,
with the Martyr Express
hands-down
winning
today's race.

How come we don't have one of those little wobbly steam vents like my Rival pressure cooker has? Man oh man, do I need a release valve on my brain right now!

Respondability

2007-01-18T12:02:00.000-08:00

I struggle with where to draw the line with responsibility -- where something is my responsibility and how far that obligation goes, but also I struggle with when I need to let others take responsibility. I struggle even more with what I call respondability. I swear that the organizers in every group I belong to have my number on speed dial. See, I have a hard time saying NO to requests, especially from casual friends, committee members, and teachers. I think I heard Oprah once call it the "Disease to Please".

If that is a disease, I definitely have a chronic case.

Take today for instance. I work once a week with the lunch program at my daughters private school. They don't have cafeteria workers, so if the parents don't volunteer, the hot lunch program will collapse. Most folks volunteer once a month, some volunteer twice a month. Me? I do it every week. Why? I saw that no one yet was working on Tuesday, so I offered without thinking. I like the job even though it can be hard work. I get to interact with a lot of the school I would never see otherwise. I also get to meet other parents and we usually have a ball for the three hours we are there.

I just got back from a lunch shift. Today you say? Today wasn't Tuesday, but the coordinator called me 15 minutes before lunchtime to see if I could substitute for a no-show. I was half way across town and not dressed for Lunch Duty so I said ... "Sure! No problem."

Sigh ... I give good respondability, so I get these kinds of calls more often than most.

Funny thing was, I got to school and my dear friend, Jeanette, was there. She is a Tuesday lunch lady. I work with her twice a month and she is one of my favorites. I see her and I say, "What are you doing here, Lady? Did you answer the SOS?" She looked at me, shook her head then grinned, "Yeah, I couldn't bear to think of no one here to serve lunch. My responsibility gene just wouldn't let me ignore the message." I laughed and agreed and then she said, "We might get taken advantage of because folks know we are the responsible kind, but I guess it is better than folks not knowing they can count on us."

I couldn't have said it better myself.

Two Weeks

2007-01-17T10:26:00.000-08:00

My New Years Resolution this year boils down to Two Weeks.

Every Two Weeks, I am going to do something or stop doing something that I feel I need to change. I mean, anyone can do something for two weeks, right? Then I can decide if I want to keep working on it, or let it go for now.

My first two weeks I quit smoking. It was hard, but I did it and I feel better already. The gain outweighs the loss. So I think I will stay a nonsmoker for two more weeks and then I will reevaluate again ... and again. This one looks pretty hopeful. On January 14, I started a low-carb diet. Nothing crazy, just nothing sweet or starchy. So far, so good.

I am feeling really good about this kind of New Year Resolution methodology. Two weeks isn't that daunting and fits in with my moving a mountain a pebble at a time focus. I also feel really charged because if I keep this up, it means in a year, I will have tackled 26 things about myself I want to improve.

Two weeks is fourteen days and so seven days doubled is two weeks. Hmmm ... seven is lucky ... so double seven should be doubly lucky.

Right?

;-)

Wish me double luck....

Chili Beans

2007-01-16T21:45:00.000-08:00

This is THE only good thing about the rare occasion in Texas when it gets below freezing - My beloved Human Beings enjoy turning into Chili Beans!

Too much and not enough.

2007-01-14T23:25:00.000-08:00

Here lately, I don't get the joke. I am not feeling Atlas Wink-ish at all. I am feeling more like Atlas Sleeps and Atlas Weeps and Atlas Stares Like A Zombie At The Wide Screen TV.

I am in that awful place where you feel too much and not enough. You know, when there is too much life you don't like and not enough life you love. Too much of nothing good and not enough of something great. Too much bullshit and not enough beauty.

Today at one point I was sitting in my easy chair, with my warmest blanket and my Uggs boots and not one but two boxes of Kleenex. I just started crying for no apparent reason really and I leaked sadness all day long. When I wasn't feeling sad, I was feeling a little scared. That uneasy almost anxious feeling decided it wanted to be my friend today and I couldn't shake it. It played tag team with sad little Mr. Blue Violet. (Mr. Neon Pea Green, meet Mr. Blue Violet....)

I should probably say something here about what is going on with me or I will get a dozen e-mails of worry and concern, so please don't worry. I am O.K. with feeling crappy. It is appropriate for where I am right now. See, I have a cold and a sinus infection and allergies running wild and a middle ear infection --- all that I just can't seem to shake. It is also cold outside and I dread and despise cold weather. Give me 100+ temps and I am fine. Maybe a bit moist, but a happy sweaty thing at least. Let the temp drop under 50 and I start worrying about hypothermia and having enough groceries in case it freezes and will my pets stay warm and will my kids get too cold. I really do start to have a bit of anxiety when it is getting chilly.

Oh and one other thing --- my Number One New Years Resolution is to quit smoking.

Which I have done so far.

Tomorrow will be the 2 week mark.

I am doing fine on the no smoking, I don't really crave the nicotine. What I do crave is the side effect of emotional anesthesia. I didn't realize how often I would smoke instead of feeling something I judged as negative. If smoking didn't work, then I would eat. Sometimes I did them both - repeatedly. I decided to try feeling the feelings for a while instead of smoking or eating them away. Instead, I declare them to myself. This past week I just let myself feel what I feel. When appropriate, I even announce them to my husband.

If you want to email Bob your concern and worry for him, I understand.

Presenting my son and his warped sense of humor: Dante's Stupido

2006-12-13T00:09:00.000-08:00

What would you write if you were a high school male who hates to write papers and were a sophomore reading Dante's Inferno and your Language Arts teacher asked you to write your own version of the nine levels of hell?

Presenting my son and his warped sense of humor:

Dante's Stupido

In tribute to Dante, I created a version of Hell in his style. My Hell is based on the severity of ones stupidity. In Stupidity Hell the protagonist is guided by Charles Darwin. I chose Darwin because he represents the weeding out of stupid people from the gene pool, mainly because of the book series in his name, The Darwin Awards. When they reach the gates of Hell, they are met by none other than Dr. Phil. He is the judiciary figure. When a sinner/idiot gets to hell Dr. Phil berates them and then tells them their sentence. He is the judge because, if you have seen his show, he hates stupid people and does everything he can to knock some sense into them. Albeit he sometimes hurts some feelings but, who cares of the feelings of the damned.

In the first Circle of Hell we find those who managed not to hurt anyone with their stupidity. Such examples are: people who follow the pop magazines and really care what happens between Brad and Jen, people like the "Lizard Man" who tattoo and disfigure themselves to the point that they are barely recognizable as human, people who buy ripped, stressed, or paint covered clothing, and people who insist in talking out loud in AIM or L33T-speak. Those last have a particularly fitting punishment. They are forced to listen to an English grammar textbook read aloud by a stuffy professor from the 1800's while simultaneously watching n00bs play Counterstrike and World of Warcraft.

The second Circle of Hell is populated by those who hurt animals with their stupidity. One example is a group of Japanese scientists who for some reason need bile and so rather that synthesizing it in a lab (which is fairly easy), choose to painfully extract it from live bears. Another is Peter Meyer who as part of his "art" show allowed visitors to pass goldfish through food processors. There are Chinese people who as part of superstitious and outdated beliefs, consume unspeakable animal parts to increase their virility. Another of these is that of the elderly unnamed woman who, after bathing her poodle, attempts to dry her in the new microwave oven in which the dog promptly explodes. Her punishment is quite the opposite of her pet. She is put into a decompression chamber in which pressure is extremely high and then brought down suddenly. There she experiences sensations quite similar to those of her puppy, but hers are brought on by an outward force pulling out rather than an inner force pushing out.

In the third Circle of Hell live those who's stupidity has brought harm to themselves. Participants include: all winners of Darwin Awards, the college kids who decide to have "Hurricane Parties" during a hurricane, professional athletes who use steroids and then complain when they get cancer, and smokers. Smokers enjoy the wondrous experience of being burned alive while constantly choking on the black tarry smoke of their own burning flesh.

In the fourth Circle of Hell we have those who have hurt friends with idiocy. The friends we hope to never have, who are guests of the Jerry Springer show. Pippin is here, from Lord of the Rings, who carelessly or inadvertently becomes an enemy informant when he looks into the seeing stone. In attendance is Brutus, who stupidly betrayed his greatest ally. Not only did he lose all influence he had in the city but eventually his life after he helped instigate the revolution against the man who was his most loyal friend, Caesar. The last person is Odysseus, who foolishly ransacked the Temple of Poseidon before he was to make a long sea voyage. (Real Smart). Odysseus must endure the punishment of "Waterboarding" in which he is tied upside down to a vertical plank of wood and water is continuously poured over his feet to rush down over his body and face, eternally simulating the sensation of drowning.

In the fifth Circle of Hell are those whose stupidity harmed their families. We have religious fanatics who do not believe in modern medicine and refuse to let their families benefit from life saving technology. We also see here the upper echelon of Catholic priesthood who ignore or even protect pedophile priests, as well as Martha Stewart who promoted an unobtainable ideal for homemakers. In their own greasy corner we have such luminaries as Ray Croc, the founder of McDonald's who helped brainwash families that a "happy meal" was a healthy choice. Ray gets repeatedly julienned and deep-fried in his own version of McHell.

In the sixth Circle of Hell we find those fools whose ignorance has harmed other races. Columbus and the other European explorers who discovered new lands but did not respect the new races they discovered as well. Mel Gibson and his famous drunken honesty, Samuel Bowers and David Duke - two of the most famous white supremacists of modern times and last but not least, Borat Sagdiyev. Borat not only managed to insult the people of Kazakhstan, but also took the world opinion of America and it's culture down another notch. He is trapped in a room of his own fans and forced to listen through eternity to them doing bad imitations of him while he naked wrestles with his "producer".

The seventh Circle of Hell is populated by people who have harmed an entire nation. The first of which is Kruschev and his circle of USSR premiers who ran their country into the ground and have left their mess to be cleaned up by their heirs. Next find in the seventh circle the corrupt African leaders who not only confiscate foreign aid packages, but also refuse to acknowledge the truth about AIDS and they don't educate their population on the ways to not spread the disease. Also here is Emperor Hirohito of Japan, who initiated the attack on Pearl Harbor that started the chain of events that led to the Atomic bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Lastly is Kim Jung Il. He has completely alienated his country from the outside world and has condemned them with his foolhardy nuclear aggression. It is well known that he is very fond of his tech toys, many of which are American made. iPods, fast cars and all the materialism that communism protests against are some of his guilty pleasures that he often uses as rewards for support. For his sins, he will live in a total void, in a sensory deprivation tank in the middle of a white padded cell with his only stimulation being the theme song of his mock character in Team America: World Police singing "I'm so ronery" over and over and over.

The eighth Circle of Hell are those whose stupidity has harmed on a global level. The first of which is Pandora, whose need to satisfy her curiosity cost the world. Next is our favorite President, George W. Bush, tipping the scales with his bold move not to sign the Kyoto Treaty. Third are the officers of 3M and other chemical companies who give us ScotchGuard so that we can clean stained couches and carpets more easily, but saturate the planet with potentially toxic Clouroflourocarbons that will be much more difficult to clean up. Henry Ford may have given us the assembly line and the affordable automobile, but at what cost? The need for gasoline to run our cars has had disastrous effects on our environment, not to mention the pollution of burning all those petro-chemicals. Mr. Ford, for his sins to the environment will endure the Chinese water torture, with a twist: drop by drop will fall on his forehead - drop by drop of acid rain.

The ninth Circle of Hell are those whose stupidity has harmed on a cosmic level. Zaphod Beeblebrox, president of the galaxy ... enough said. The American and Russian space programs who have been the biggest cosmic litterbugs are also in the ninth circle. Here you will also find all the past presidents and vice presidents of NBC, ABC, CBS and all other television and radio stations because their constant radio signals going out into the universe might destroy entire civilizations on other galaxies. Finally we find in his own lovely theater, Ronald Reagan, who sent WMD's into orbit and allowed radioactive waste to be jettisoned into space. "Ronnie" is forced to watch the new Star Wars movies (Episodes I, II & III) over and over with liberal Star Wars fanatics that only cease their incessant harping about his politics to make snide comments about the movies.

Better than a Life Coach

2006-12-08T09:46:00.000-08:00

O.K. maybe that is an exaggeration, but I am loving my personal work motivator.

This little gadget helps me be more productive when doing tasks, especially the dreaded declutter duties. I just set it for a 5 or 10 minute countdown and it beeps when the time is up. I hit it twice more and it resets for the same amount of time. Why is this so great?

The first reason is that I can get so much done if I make it a contest of sorts. I do what I call the "5 minute Pick Up" I set my timer and rush around seeing how much I can clean one room in 5 minutes. When the timer beeps, it is time to move to the next room.

The second reason is this. Put me to a domestic task and I develop a different form of A.D.D. - I call it Domestic Attention Disorder or D.A.D. for short. I have a problem with procrastination and I also have a problem with digression. I put things off, but then when it is last minute pressure to do whatever it is, I get started and then get bogged down in the details.

Do you ever decide to clean out a desk drawer or closet and you lose yourself in the "shiny"? You know, a messy drawer and you start to pick, pick, pick through the clutter - A box of new pencils, KEEP. A post-it note pad, KEEP. Three wrinkled grundgy post-its that are no longer attached, TOSS. A mint out of its wrapper, HMMM-toss or eat?-TOSS. And then you see something shiny, maybe a button that was on a baby coat and you take a mental reunion moment that turns into more than a minute. Or the button belongs to a current coat so you decide to go sew it back on and you go into the laundry room to grab your sewing kit, but you see a shoe that goes in your son's closet so you put down the button and pick up the shoe to take to his room. You head to his room with the shoe, but then turn around to see if there is anything else that goes to his room. So you see a basket of clean clothes that you should fold first and you put down the shoe and start to fold the clothes, but decide they should go back in the dryer for a bit. You want to add a dryer sheet, but the box is empty, so you head to the kitchen to write "dryer sheets" on your grocery list and so you head to the kitchen and there isn't a pen next to the grocery list. So you go to get a pen, but the first two you try are dried up and don't write. You take the dead pens to the trash and notice a crayon mark on the trash can and put down the dead pens to go grab the kitchen cleanser ..... two hours later you have made 7 round trips through your house but still haven't finished the drawer and can't think of a thing you actually got done.

D.A.D. has struck once again.

Then I found this timer and I hang it around my neck and let it aurally zap me every five minutes to stay on task. So far, it has been really helpful. Maybe not as helpful as a life coach, but it is a lot cheaper! I got my Polder 898-95 Clock, Timer and Stopwatch at Amazon.com and it is the best $15.00 I have spent in a loooong time.

Forty-One Roses: Endings and Beginnings - Part 3

2006-12-05T17:38:00.000-08:00

This is what I asked Amber if she would help me with....

It is forty-one roses that we went and picked out at our favorite wholesale flower market. We picked them for their colors and what those colors represent. The darker red roses are actually black roses, they just photographed a deep red and then the flash made them even lighter. The other roses were a true red and white. We also added rosemary from my garden and lavender from Amber's garden. All of our choices had symbolic reasons, and we made the wreath with deliberate intent. For love and remembrance, for dealing with the past, for forgivenes and for letting go.

I first was going to place it on my grandmother's grave. But as I worked on it I realized that I needed to place it in a different location. It needed to go on my dad's grave. So that is what I did. And now I have said some of the things, out loud, that I have waited to say.

And I don't feel the least bit impolite.

Endings and Beginnings -- Part 2

2006-12-05T16:45:00.000-08:00

As I said in my previous post, my grandmother's death was more painful than I expected. She was a vital woman, in the best sense of that word. She loved life, lived her life with an enthusiastic YES! at almost every opportunity and challenge. She lived a long life as well. She died leaving a large family who loved her. Children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren and great-great grandchildren were at her funeral and her life was celebrated as well as mourned.

I decided to miss the visitation the night before the funeral so I could stay in Austin to be with our son who was leaving shortly to fly back to San Francisco. It wasn't an easy decision, but I thought if I could have asked her what she would want, I think she would have said, "Celebrate the living before mourning the dead." So that is what I did.

I also asked my oldest daughter, Amber if she would help me do something. I was a bit embarrassed asking, because it might seem weird what I wanted to do, but I am not going to let hesitation stop me any longer from doing what seems true for me. I needed to find some way to let go of my past. I had done all sort of intellectual work on my childhood. All sorts of psychological work and mental acrobatics to try and understand on my own why people had behaved how they behaved. And yet, there was still a sad curiosity I have never been able to shake. A feeling like I was holding out my empty hands asking for more but never receiving anything of weight.

I think that maybe this was because I have always tried to find a way to explain away their actions. To rationalize it. To justify it. But the bottom, the base reality I never acknowledged at a deep level was that I felt wronged and betrayed by the people I trusted the most. I needed to acknowledge that part of me was angry and hurt and that it was wrong what had been done to six year old me. Then I needed to find a way to really forgive it (since you can't forgive what you don't acknowledge) and then finally, hopefully, move on.

Endings and Beginnings -- Part 1

2006-12-05T08:08:00.000-08:00

Our son Matt and his lovely girlfriend, Nhu, came home for the Thanksgiving break. We planned not one, but TWO feasts for the time he was scheduled to be here and then, the day before they arrived, we got a phone call that my grandmother had died. They decided to delay the funeral until the weekend after Thanksgiving, but it still didn't give some family members the time to get home as all flights the weekend after Thanksgiving are booked solid.

I took my grandmother's death very hard. This was surprising as I wasn't particularly close with my grandmother. She was my father's mom and when I was six years old, my parents divorced. My dad, for whatever reasons, didn't make seeing me and my sister the priority that it should have been. Since he didn't pick us up on his weekends, and seldom had more contact than around Christmas - we very rarely saw that side of our family. They just sort of faded into the background. I missed them as we had been a very tight knit group who spent a lot of time together and I thought of my male cousins the way most folks think of siblings. For a long time I felt the empty space and wondered what was wrong with me that they didn't make a point of including me more often.

In later years we reconnected and I was surprised to find how much I was like my grandmother. We had so many of the same personality quirks and attitudes about things. We both delighted in conversation and a full house of company. We loved to feed everyone and never wanted to waste time washing up when company was still there to chat with. We loved some of the same weird foods and had the same circadian rhythms. We had the same profile and the same mother lion piercing gaze when our family was vunerable to anything. Family was THE steadfast priority.

Most of the family was her steadfast priority. And that unfinished business is why her death was difficult for me. My father died when I was 16 and I never got to ask him why I was ignored, postponed, abandoned.

I didn't have the courage to ever ask. It seemed somehow impolite and I didn't have the words. I kept meaning to have that conversation with my grandmother - ask her the difficult questions - but it was so much easier and more fun to laugh with her and enjoy what little time I made to see her in my busy adult life. I regret not having the hard conversation. I just never could find the words.

Sneezes and Wheezes and Coughs -- Oh My!

2006-12-05T07:37:00.001-08:00

Life has been tough lately. But life is also wonderful even when awful. Isin't it?

The fall of 2006 will go down as the worst season in memory for family illness. Everyone has been sick. Viral and bacterial ridden coughing, hacking, nose blowing, exhausting, nauseating, lethargic, headachy, muscle crampy, nastiness. Keep your fingers crossed for all of us that the winter season is a vast improvement on the health front.

@#$%^&*()_!

2006-11-03T07:21:00.000-08:00

I am slightly overwhelmed with life these days.

That is all.

"He wears the world like a loose garmet." (Quote of the Day)

2006-10-16T07:03:00.000-07:00

"He wears the world like a loose garmet."
--Kris Kristoferson describing Willie Nelson's unflappable nature.

I really want to be like this. I know I worry too much -- even though I know fretting and emotional teeth gnashing are a waste of energy, I still do it. I yearn for the zen acceptance that Willie Nelson wears like a loose (and comfortable) garmet.

I have always been a fan of Mr. Nelson's, but the past year I have really come to appreciate to a much deeper level his music, his life philosophies, his activism, his way of being in the world and the myriad and complex aspects that make up his uniqueness. I like the way he fits into his life and I love the way he accepts whatever comes his way.

Do you think there is a place I can get a "What would Willie do" t-shirt?

If not, I can at least check out his new songs and ask to be a new friend at his myspace....

I am a Lush

2006-10-02T19:34:00.000-07:00

They say a photo is worth a thousand words, so for those of you asking to see the photo that made the Lush Times ---- here it is.

;-)

Edward Lawrence Albert

2006-09-28T16:17:00.000-07:00

Edward Albert, the actor probably best know for his work in the movie "Butterflys are Free" died recently. He was only 55 years old and I was quite shocked to hear the sad news. I always enjoyed seeing him in movies and on television, but I also respected deeply who he was in his private life. He was an intelligent and gracious man who put his family and the causes he believed in first in his life.

Here is something he said after 9/11 that I have read many times.

"You don't have to be dead to be a hero..." (G.S. Patton)

"In the year 2000, Americans voted plain-speaking Gen. George S. Patton their favorite general...over everyone from George Washington to Gen. Dwight D. Eisenhower, et al.

In 1969, at the age of 19, I was lucky enough to work with George C. Scott in the definitive portrayal of his career over a period of many months and several countries on the definitive film version of Patton's WWII career. Having survived a few revolutions and coup d'etats myself, I am profoundly aware of the value and contributions of the unsung heroes, the everyday heroes, the quiet men and women who step up every single day. You, you, and you. We see them now, every hour of every day on every channel. Faces on the faceless...the plumber with his tools waiting patiently until his abilities are needed. The housewife or househusband taking the children to school then passing out water to the thirsty. The singer in the cathedral lifting all our voices, all our hearts, all our hopes. Even those who do nothing but care in their hearts and wish they had some contribution to make. The simple act of caring is heroic. Some days it is a heroic act just to refuse the paralysis of fear and straighten up and step into another day. My 95-year-old father pulled 'his' Marines out of the water at Tarawa under a withering triple crossfire, having four boats shot out from under him, refusing a direct order to retreat, and returning again and again and again and again until he had every single man back to the hospital ship. Yet that heroism pales in the face of his ferocious optimism as he battles to maintain his dignity while I button his shirt today. In times of life crisis, whether wild fires or smoldering stress, the first thing I do is go back to basics...am I eating right, am I getting enough sleep, am I getting some physical and mental exercise everyday. Sometimes you have to be selfish to be selfless. Then I start looking into my fears. Courage is just fear, plus prayers, plus understanding. Fear is the only true enemy, born of ignorance and the parent of anger and hate. On a level of simple personal survival, understanding and forgiveness are crucial...whether in an intimate personal relationship or on a global level. As a lifelong warrior, I still remember my first lesson in combat...get your opponent angry, and he will defeat himself. Let us begin by doing our best to do our best, every single time, no matter what, forever. That is a truly heroic goal. Yesterday, someone wrote 'God Bless the Everyday Hero' in the dust of my car' s rear window. Like a kiss from one beloved, it will wear off before I wash it off. God bless us everyone."

Mr. Albert spent the lions share of the past decade taking care of his father, Eddie Albert. Both of them were in my view giants among men. They both are sorely missed.

QUOTE OF THE DAY-- Epictetus

2006-09-12T16:47:00.000-07:00

First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to
do.

-- Epictetus (55-135 AD) Greek Philosopher

Love and Hugs

2006-09-12T07:21:00.000-07:00

Who says the internet is causing us to become more distant and isolated from the real world? I mean, I can see their point - points, but at the same time, I disagree in part. I just read my cousin's wonderful blog and afterward I had a nice warm glow as if we had just talked on the phone. Two days ago my niece e-mailed me, just to say she loved me and had been thinking about me. When I read her note, same nice warm glow of affection and joy.

Although virtual hugs are not quite as great as the real world thing, I think that virtual love is pretty damn wonderful.

Optical Inch

2006-09-02T07:54:00.000-07:00

This ---> BODY SHAVER campaign has had me laughing for the better part of the past half hour. I am not sure if it is a real advertising campaign or an in-house joke, but it is definately original for American ad campaigns! Make sure you hover your cursor over the razor and then check out each link --- especially the music video!

Because I just did it for a forum - 20 Things about Me.

2006-08-26T08:23:00.000-07:00

On a forum, I was asked to list "20 Things About Me"
This is what I thought of - off the top of my head.

When I was little, I thought someday a medicine man would give me a potion to make all my freckles spread out and merge until I had the most beautiful permanent tan.
I was the first girl in almost 50 years on my father's side of the family, so nobody knew what to do with me - even though I was a tomboy.
I have a LOT of nicknames.
I have had a LOT of pets, including a cat that was half Bobcat.
One of my dogs saved my oldest daughter's life.
I had the nickname "Speedy" as a kid because I ran everywhere, and usually made any routine trip a race with myself.
When I was about 10, I talked my 8 year old sister and 4 year old cousin into climbing up a ladder onto the roof with me. Once I got them up there, I scrambled down and took away the ladder so I didn't have them tagging along. 30 years later, I still get grief about it. :^)
I was a jock (basketball, vollyball, track) and a cheerleader in high school, now I can barely move.
I was also a brainac who tried to play slightly dumber - I would deliberately miss test questions so as not to ruin the curve for friends (insert idiot icon here).
I had the nickname "Nurse" as a kid because I was always administering first aid to drunks and animals.
We have a lot of parties at our home and so I still adminster first aid to drunks and "animals".
I have an innocent heart murmer. Some docs act like it is not so innocent.
I had the nickname "Pick", because I was so skinny as a child.
In middle school I had this freak ability to jump straight up and won district in "vertical" broad jump --- by 10" more than the next contestant! Our team didn't go on to regionals, so I don't know how far I might have gone.
My coach gave me the nickname "Ribbit" because of my mad jumping skills.
I had the nickname "Mouth" in Highschool. Because I was talkative and a good kisser. ;-)
I still have a problem with talking too much. ;-)
I also have the nickname, "Time Warp" because time seems to shrink around me. Friends say that 30 minutes seems like 10 around me - so I must warp time.
I am also notoriously late by 5 minutes almost everywhere I go.
I was voted Senior Class "Favorite" in high school butI still worry and wonder if people like me.

Look Who is Four!!!!

2006-08-24T06:42:00.000-07:00

Last but not least in the August Birthday Series...

- HAPPY BIRTHDAY IAN!!!! -

If you want to make a 4 year happy?
Then get them a bouncy ball as a gift.

Way to go Great-Grandmom Barbara!

Soap Opera

2006-08-24T06:15:00.000-07:00

I belong to a certain forum on the internet. Lately, every time I log onto this forum it seems that several of the top posts are all this teeth gnashing, emotional hair pulling drama. Now that might make sense if it was a political forum maybe, or one about religion or some really volatile topic. I mean, I could see putting on my "emotional keplar" if I belonged to a mine field area of the web. But in this case, the ticking bombs are not topics but a sub-set of the forum population. Most of the folks on there are truly wonderful caring people. I even like almost all of the ticking-bomb people. My frustration is that this is a forum about bath products!

I seem lately to tilt my head like a puzzled dog at least once a week to the passionate vitriol that occurs over there. I log on for a virtual soak and to learn more about my favorite hedonistic indulgence. Instead, I get drama and see people I have come to care for fighting on different sides of an issue. The original controversy spills over into other topics and so deciding to just not read the dramatic threads is not a fool proof plan. Curiosity gets the better of me and so I pop in for a quick scan to see just what is going on. (Sort of like glancing over when you pass a car accident.) What starts as a difference of opinion turns into personal attacks and opposing camps. There doesn't seem to be any middle ground where there can be a respectful disagreement that occurs with polite and civilized discourse for the most part.

I just shake my head and move on and do NOT add my two cents there. The first reason I don't post is so as not to "bump" the thread back to the top. It is my way of helping the tow truck get there quicker. The second reason I don't post is that I feel a "why bother" sort of apathy. No matter how well I said what I was feeling, no matter how intelligent my opinion or eloquent my words, it would still be drowned out by all the virtual shouting. Someone really wise needs to start studying this phenomenom and figure out how to change the energy. I mean, trite as it may seem, if we can't have peace on a bubble forum, what hope do we have in the Middle East?

Happy 1st Birthday Shaun!

2006-08-19T00:06:00.000-07:00

OK, I am late with this one too .... just pretend the postdate is August 17th?

Amber's baby is no longer a baby. He is now ONE YEAR OLD. Amber is a little sad, so if you know her, give her a hug!

Opening Gifts:

Just before Cake:

During Cake:

A George Gray Mood

2006-08-18T06:53:00.001-07:00

You know how some people talk about being blue or having the red meanies or being in a black funk? Well, sometimes I feel a "restlessness and vague desire" that I can only think of as a George Gray Mood. If you have never read Spoon River Anthology by Edgar Lee Masters, pick up a copy and turn to the poem George Gray. If you click on the title of this post, it will take you to a copy of it online.

Lately this feeling I am talking about has changed slightly and I think I like the change.

I feel like a seedling
yearning to push
past the tension and weight of the soil.

I feel like a seedling
yearning for air.

I feel like a seedling
ready to shed
the brown earth for blue sky sunlight.

Losing a Mountain

2006-08-17T09:58:00.000-07:00

The person who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.

-- Chinese proverb

I need to lose weight. I need to lose a LOT of weight. The quote above I found today and it is going to be my new mantra. Little steps, lots of little steps can take me long distances. Right?

One of my secret dreams is to climb Mount Kilimanjaro, but until I get in much much better shape, that is not possible. So starting today, I am going to attempt again to lose a mountain of weight and as a reward I will treat myself to one of the trips of my dreams. Don't you think there is a wonderful symmetry to this goal and reward?

I have been dreaming about this for several years. I started thinking about it after seeing the wonderful documentary, Kilimanjaro - To the Roof of Africa. I have even picked the company I will probably use - Tusker Trails.

I have done almost everything except the actual work of losing the weight and getting in shape. Wishing for it won't get me there. Dreaming of it won't get me there. Praying about it won't get me there. It is time I take to heart the African prayer, "Pray with your feet."

The glacier at the top of Kili is getting smaller every year and so I need to act now. I feel a new urgency - for the glacier and for me as well. I feel the weight of time lately. I feel more of a pressing need to act. Life flies by us at such accelerated speed these days and I can't procrastinate any longer. I need to do the hard work now, because I deserve a healthier and lighter life! The time is now to pray with my feet.

Feet get a' movin'!

Happy 6th Birthday Kennedy!

2006-08-17T08:50:00.000-07:00

I am a baaaaaaaaaaaaad grandmom. Well, not really. I am just a very busy grandmom these days. My oldest grandchild had her 6th Birthday on the 10th of August! I was so busy shopping and getting the house ready for an August group birthday party, that I didn't take the time to come on here and publicly wish her a very very happy day.

Happy (belated) Birthday Kennedy!

The Quiet after Happy Noise

2006-08-12T23:14:00.000-07:00

I should be in bed sleeping. I have a full day tomorrow and I had a full day today and the practical sliver of me says I should be in bed. I have put everyone else who is here in bed, all tucked in and kissed. So why don't I drag my tired at 2 a.m. carcass to bed as well? Maybe because I like this sleepy empty space that I exist in right at this moment.

I love the quiet after happy noise.

Have you ever heard those wonderful Tibetan bowls that sing? If you have, do you remember the moment when the bowl stops singing, but you think you still hear it in the silence? That is the place I am in now.

Yawn. Hummmmm. Good Night.

House-Full

2006-08-10T06:56:00.000-07:00

I won't be on the internet much the next several days as our middle son is home for a visit and I am going to spend every moment I can in family bliss. We have five birthdays this month, so this Saturday we are having an "August" family birthday party. The guest list is already over 50 family members.

I love it when we all get together. There is nothing better, to my way of thinking, than when I have all five of my kiddoes and their significant others all under my roof. If I can get them to stand still long enough, and I can get their permission - get ready for a photo!

Horizontally Challenged

2006-08-08T08:01:00.000-07:00

I am a hygenic person, but I am not a "tidy" person. I collect things that have sentimental value. I am very sentimental and so I have a lot of stuff. Abundance is everywhere and in every aspect of my life. I love that for the most part. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have a full-to-bursting at the seams existence.

In my youth I embraced the idea that "Anything worth doing is worth overdoing." Well I have a bit more wisdom now and so I don't feel that way so much anymore. But I still am not one of the "Less is more" advocates. To me -"More is More"! That works ok for some things, but where it is a huge personal challenge is when it comes to housekeeping. I clean, I organize, I tidy, I pick up, I put up, I purge - and yet the clutter continues to reproduce and if I am not in constant vigil, tables and counters and even the pool table become overrun with clutter!

My dear TIDY husband loves me in spite of this. Years ago he accepted the sad fact I am missing the neat gene. He once said, "You would be the perfect housekeeper if a home didn't have horizontal surfaces."

So does that mean I can be classified as Horizontally Challenged?

American Fiesta

2006-08-06T05:53:00.000-07:00

Friday night we went to see the play American Fiesta, written and performed by Steven Tomlinson. If you have the opportunity, please go see it. Number one, it is very good. Number two, our theatre productions in town really need the support.

My sister got four tickets for us to go and see it as part of my birthday. I was delighted! Bob-o and I have gotten out of the habit of a real social life the past few years. It seems most of our social engagements fall in one of three categories: Children, Work, or Charities We Support. So, I was going to have a great time, even if the play was not wonderful. I collect Fiesta Dinnerware and so it seemed that the themes he would weave into a monologue would be right up my alley.

They were.

I am not a "review" kind of person. I can give a report, but that is not what I really want to do. I have been thinking I should come on here and talk about this play, but I dragged my heels probably in part because I don't want to try and Ebert anything. So what I share with you now, please don't think of as a review.

The play started in perfect darkness and then slowly a single light began to highlight a brilliant red bowl. It was almost a holy moment, deliberate I am sure. A man came out and started to share what feels to be his authentic story. He talked of so many things that I identified with and could relate to my own life.

The play had many diverse themes and yet he skillfully brought them together, like a wonderful stew you could never imagine the ingredients mixing in such a delicious way. He talked about opposites attracting and repelling in relationships. He talked about e-Bay. He talked of the need for approval and understanding from our family. He talked about neurobiology being used in advertising, such as the successful manipulation of neurotransmitters to win political elections. He talked about the popularity of vintage Fiesta being an interesting way to self medicate in times of stress - that it harkens back to childhood memories of grandmom's kitchen and at the same time excites us in the thrill of the hunt for those rare and elusive pieces. He talked about gay marriage and rural Oklahoma. He talked about using "the good dishes" and not putting them up to just admire. He talked about our society being more polarized and the trend of less interaction and tolerance between people having opposing viewpoints. He talked about striving for perfection and the perfection of appreciating the flawed.

I was touched by a lot of what he said and I was sad when the show ended. I don't know if the show really was autobiographical, but I hope it was. Because I want that character to really exist in my world. I liked him. I wished I could invite him over for a home cooked meal.

I would even get down the Fiesta I keep up high and never use.

Thread the Needle

2006-08-04T06:53:00.000-07:00

Just a few minutes ago I was driving back home from taking my 16 year old and two of his friends to camp and traffic was typical weekday morning traffic. At one point I had to cross one lane right and then immediately merge right to be able to take my exit. There was only a very short space to do so and it was going to be a tight gap to navigate without causing others to need to brake. I was just a tiny bit uneasy about it as it is a new car and it doesn't yet feel yet like an extension of my body and I could cause a wreck if I mis-gauged my speed or the size of my car. I took a quick breath and then slipped into the narrow gap and as I was slipping between cars, I thought to myself -- Thread the Needle.

Metaphorically, how many times do we need to "thread the needle" in our daily life? How often is it important to have a precision in situations with potential danger? When we avoid saying something because we want to say it "just so". When we want to ask for that raise or take that job. When we want to demand more respect or care from a significant other. When we want to learn something new and possibly embarrasing like learning to play the saxaphone or taking a dance class. When we put ourselves out there by posting our private and maybe not-so-cool thoughts on the internet.

How often do we take the risk and thread the needle?

How often do we just wait for the next exit?

Out with the old, In with the new.

2006-08-03T17:43:00.000-07:00

The photo below is of us leaving in the van to go pick up the new car. My daughter was very sad as this was the only car she has ever known me to drive. It is weird how when you live your life in or around material things, they take on more meaning. We have spent a lot of time in this van and although we will enjoy the new car, Old Blue is going to be missed.

OK, I know - crazy as a mad hatter - but I parked the new car in front of Old Blue, grinned when I got out and thought, "Old Master, teach the new student how to love and take care of our family."

Now, don't worry, I don't believe that cars have literal souls. But I do believe in residual energy and I very much believe in directed intention. By allowing myself to have some sappy if strange sentimentality, it helped me to honor a life passage for our family.

Another silly bit, I was sad to lose our stickers, but more about that in a different post possibly.

Life from an Easy Chair

2006-08-03T05:15:00.000-07:00

Wouldn't it be great if sitting in an Easy Chair actually made our lives easier? Sitting in mine just seems to make my butt bigger.

Yes, this turtle does have a tail. Terrapin - Part Four:

2006-08-02T15:13:00.001-07:00

And this leads to the last bit of this story. We went and bought a new car and sold our old one. While I was waiting, I pulled out my Moleskin purse journal - which is my lo-tech pda - and jotted down the following thoughts:

Aloha Terrapin 7/29/06

Syd Barrett spins and floats and loops and bobs between my ears. Round and round my brain. Terrapin tune, crystal blue. Dear sad Barrett, I miss you ~

Last night - uninvited but not unwelcome - a visitor, a traveler, a totem, a sage - a SYMBOL of so much. I named him Pilgrim Atlas. A terrapin turtle over twelve inches long - scuffed up - broken back - years of life unbowed - but out of his territory. Did he leave the low water to travel closer to the stars? Turtle - symbol of so much. Beginnings and Endings - Animistic Atlas - the lesson of patient STEADY progress amid hellos and good byes. You must leave one life to find the next one. Turtle - a Moon deity with a year of moons upon its back. Turtle - longevity, Tenacity - long life and determined nature. Terrapin - of moon and water. In Feng Sui a turtle in your back yard means blessings on your home: long life, abundance, protection from negativity. All things I need. And what an auspicious time! It is time for me to bid farewell to my old mobile shell and welcome my new one. Pilgrim Atlas came to tell me yes to change. Time to move from some of the low waters of my life and strive for the stars. ~

Terrapins - Part Three

2006-08-02T15:05:00.002-07:00

For some reason I call the turtle Pilgrim. Well, I insist on bringing him into the house and cooling him down just a bit as his shell was almost too hot to touch! (It was one of those over 100 degree days here in lovely central Texas.) I bring Pilgrim in and put him on my pool table cover. Get him a saucer of water and a dripping wet hand towel which I take and tenderly try and wash down his shell. I see he has a 2 inch crack on one side and several places where it almost looks like someone went at him with a belt sander. This fella! The tales he could tell! I start to feel happy and lighter while I am working with this animal. All my blue funk just gets lighter and happier. The turtle warms up to me pretty quickly and Pilgrim loves for some weird reason to hear me laugh and to hear me talking on the phone. When I do these two things he will crane his neck up as far as he can from his shell. This must be a very curious turtle! I know I probably imagined it being real communication, but when I would bob my head up and down at him, he would do the same kind of bobble head back at me! And if I tilted my head right, he would tilt his left. I think my husband was worried a bit that I had gone off the deep end with how I was playing with this turtle! I know he was worried that I was going to beg to keep Pilgrim. He was correct there. I did ask, but only half heartedly as I assumed he would be better back with his own kind. So I called our local WildLife Rescue and made an appt to take Pilgrim in the next day. Then I put him in a sturdy box with another dish of water and with the wet towel in the corner.

I started wondering at what meanings there might be for this critter entering our lives as he did. I know that some folks believe that everything is random and coincidence, and there might be truth to that. I just find life more interesting if I entertain the possibility that there are no accidents and so I got on line and looked up turtle meanings and symbolism. The bottom line for me was that Turtles have a lot in common with me. I am the Astrological symbol Cancer and Turtles have very crab-like similarities. Then there is the whole Atlas Mythology associated with them! How cool is that? Pilgrim Atlas! I wonder if maybe, just maybe my Native American ancestors were Turtle People! What I think was the lesson to learn here was let go of some things to be able to reach for the next one. Some how, finding Pilgrim helped me to be ok with saying goodbye to my old car and also helped me to say goodbye to my Terrapin singer, Syd Barrett. And also maybe just maybe it is helping me say goodbye to other bits I need to bid farewell.

... of Brain Worms and Terrapins - Part Two:

2006-08-02T15:05:00.000-07:00

Ok, so Syd Barrett and me feeling and listening to him a lot, which listening to his solo work is sometimes enough in itself to create a depressive episode and one of my old fav's I just cannot get out of my head - Terrapin. I listen to it on my iPod and computer and hear it in my head when it isn't on somewhere else. I keep trying to get the brain worm to go away but no luck.

Now, a side trail. I drive a 12 year old van. Big honkin' navy blue customized to obscenity mother of a van. But it is old and gets really bad gas mileage and my husband wants me to get a new car. Has been pushing hard since the lady turned 10 - but there just hasn't been anything I want. I WANT a Prius that gets 100 mpg and I can haul around a dozen people, but they just don't make that one yet. See my dilema? We have been looking off and on for over a year and the car that is Bob-o's and the kids' favorite is the Toyota Sienna. I like it ok, but not enough to "abandon" my van. (So silly I know but I end up personifying my cars and projecting personalities and pet like affection on them.) Bob-o wants me to jump, but I just keep climbing back down the stairs of the diving board.(metaphorically speaking)

So I am sad about Syd, thinking about endings and how his ending took 30 years and was just so incredibly sad and listening to Terrapin and other of his songs and not really getting much done that I need to do. I seemed to be moving in molasses. Working and striving to accomplish stuff, but just slow motion efficiency. Then my husband comes home from work and is excited and says, "Come LOOK! You are never gonna believe what is in our back yard!" Now, we live on top of a hill in an area that is sort of part of North West Hills and sort of part of an area called Cat Mountain. Not mountains to most folks, but for Texans, I live on the top ridge of a mountain. Nice views, but a bit less grounding that I would prefer, but my goodness do we have wonderful thunderstorms up here!

Anyway, I digress. I go out and there is a Turtle! A Red Eared Slider, which is a water loving semi-aquatic creature. He had to walk at least a mile uphill to my yard! And how did he get here? He is over a foot long, which means he is probably over a decade old and he looks it - scuffed and scarred and road hardened.

... of Brain Worms and Terrapins and casting off shells

2006-08-02T06:43:00.000-07:00

Melancholy hit me recently when Syd Barrett died. Most folks reading this are probably too young to even know who that is, but he was one of the original key members of Pink Floyd and also one of my first childhood crushes. He was so beautiful and smart and sexy and seemed calmy kind when not spotlight beacon brilliant - how could I not have a crush? He overdid the psychotropics and lost his way.

His personal descent into madness and recent death have affected me deeper than I am comfortable. Does this ever happen to you? It is like emotional cling film. When this happens to me, I start to look for something to change the energy and usually I find something. You know how sometimes the universe appers to be more than coincidence? Well bear with me in part two of this long rabbit trail, because it does have a point, I promise.

Plastic Jesus

2006-08-02T06:37:00.000-07:00

Ever have a brain worm? I can't stop hearing Paul Newman singing Plastic Jesus from Cool Hand Luke

The Lyrics?

I don't care if it rains or freezes
as long as I got a plastic jesus
sitting on the dashboard of my car
comes in colors pink and pleasant
glows in the dark cause its iridescent
take it with you when you travel far.

Get yourself a sweet Madonna
dressed in rhinestones sitting on a
pedestal of abalone shell
going 90 I ain't scary
cause I got the Virgin Mary
assuring me that I won't go to hell...